My moments of growth

I look back on my life and wonder why things just seems to be one battle after another. I lost my mum and then my dad. The loss of my dad was so unexpected that it broke me. Three weeks later I gave birth to my son, which was traumatic. I had an emergency caesarean because he was not breathing and the prognosis from the doctors was bleak because the loss of oxygen to his brain. I sank into depression and self-pity. I couldn’t understand why as God who claims to love me will allow these things to happen to me. I was not yet over the shock of my father’s death, now I was facing the loss of my new born son.

I was so disappointed and I lost faith in God. Even in my loneliness and depression I knew he was with me. In the end, I realised there was nobody else to turn to but to turn to God. It was a hard battle but I had to rely and trust in God. To God be the glory, my son survived against all odds and he is soon going to be 18 years. It has not been easy but God has been with us on the journey and He has always come through.

I went through a season of infidelity and divorce. These were heart breaking moments in my life and knocked my self-confidence and self-esteem to rock bottom. Through these period, I learnt about forgiveness, reliance on God and how precious I am to God.

I look back on these big moments in my life and I thank God for them. It was in my moments of grief, pain, disappointments that I have grown. My moments has made me the person I am today – someone that is totally dependent on God, someone who finds her worth in God and not in who I am, or what people say or the praise of men, someone who is assured in God’s love.