Living a life purpose

Sometimes I tightly wrap my hand around things that will inevitably fade into dust, forgetting that my life belongs to the Lord, to begin and end as He ordains. He will be faithful to accomplish the plan he has for me. “The Lord will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. Psalms 138:8 NLT My life cannot be cut short before He allows. Although it may be hard to relinquish the illusion of control, once I do, I can begin to understand the reality of his protection. My life is not my own, it belongs to God and I can’t control it nor can I control what happens. I am confident that my Lord is with me, He is watching over me, He is protecting me, He provides for me, and He directs my path. And because God is with me in all I do I will not be afraid, I will not be moved and I will continue to trust because I know God never makes a mistake.

16th January was my first day back at work after a short break. It was good to be back and to be busy again but I had to go in for another appointment. I wish my first day back was like another normal day but the appointment was a reminder that my journey is different now. I arrived at the Breast clinic at 10:45AM for my 11:00AM appointment with Aunty Remi. The appointment was for ultrasound and biopsy on both breast as they are still trying to find primary source. This is the second time I will undergo this painful procedure but I was very glad someone was with me this time because I was on my own at the first biopsy and felt alone. I felt like a paint canvas because during the ultrasound because the radiologist marked areas of my breast with a marker. It was very funny and hilarious. The biopsy was longer than the first time and very painful. Samples were taken from both breast and a marker, a small metal clip was placed in the left breast where the biopsy samples were taken. This wa...

Today Thursday, 10 January 2019 at 9:30, I have to go in to get the results of the test. I plan to take my friend Sharon with me because I needed the support of someone. This could be a cruciakl day and I am glad I will not be alone. It was not the news I was expecting to hear but I know God is in control. The CT scan and MRI scan were not conclusive so they are still not sure of where the source of the cancer is. The only thing the MRI scan showed was that there were two at spot, one on each breast and they need to do a biopsy to see if it is cancer. Until this is determined, they will not know the course of treatment I need to undergo. As a result,  I have to go in for another CT scan on Monday 14th January at 11:00AM and another biopsy on Wednesday 16th of January at 14:15 PM. Oh joy, I was not happy, why was it proving difficult to find the primary source. More test, I hate test. I was a bit disappointed and emotional after the appointment. I cried because I wanted answers and ...

 I came across this song and the lyrics reminded me that God is with me and he will take me through this battle Thank God for Tasha Cobbs Leonard You know my name Oh how you comfort me Oh how you counsel me It still amazes me that I am your own Oh how you walk with me Oh how you talk with me Oh how you tell me that I am your own God you know me so I trust you with my life No fire can burn me No battle can turn me No mountain can stop me Cause you hold my hand I am walking in your victory cause your power is within me No giant can defeat me because you always hold my hand I don’t have to be afraid because you hold my hand ©Tasha Cobbs Leonard

My child, I have power and authority over your path to wellness. I have many ways to heal, but My methods and timing are not always predictable. I can heal through physicians, surgeons, renewed mindsets, common sense, or a direct touch from My Spirit. However healing comes, it’s never up to you to decide how or when. I alone am the One who heals. I give you wise physicians that prescribe medications to destroy mutated cells, kill harmful organisms, and regulate body systems. My surgeons remove diseased tissues and repair defective organs. At anytime, I can bypass these natural methods and heal you supernaturally through the power of My Spirit. However you receive healing, there is no second class outcome. Being healed miraculously is no more spiritual than being healed medically. Healing by any method is a blessing from Me, the God who heals. Child, you are dependent on Me for your every breath. Never let your trust move subtly to the doctors, their drugs, or your own strength instead ...

Another day and another appointment today is an MRI appointment I went to church and taught the kids in Discovery Kids. This helped me take my mind of things, it helped me feel normal and not like someone with something looming on my mind. I had to let Bev know what was going on because I knew I will be off Discovery Kids for a while. Sharon went with me and it was great to have company. The procedure was for almost an hour. The experience was out of this world - noisy and too much vibration. I was happy when it was all over. To be honest, I am a bit apprehensive and anxious at each appointment but I choose to not let fear of the unknown paralyse me or worry as I wait for the result. My God is in control regardless, I will not be troubled or afraid for I have the wonderful gift from God - His promises and peace which is my weapon against worry and fear. His peace is completely different than the world’s peace. The world’s peace is tied to circumstances, but God’s peace is eternal and f...

I am feeling down and worried today, But I decided to snap out of it and focus on God's will for me and His promises.  My will! My will for you my daughter is a healthy body. A healthy body is a reflection of My goodness and My abundant love for you. I grieve over your brokenness, and I want you to be completely whole. Sickness and death were never part of My original plan. I created and called My creation good. When sin and sickness entered the world, My beautiful creation fell into decay. But I came to restore everything the enemy stole from you! I came to destroy the works of the devil and heal your diseases by the stripes on My back.

Only by trusting in what I did for you on the cross will you be whole and perfect in My sight. It is only by My grace that you receive My free gift, an eternal home where sorrow and mourning will disappear. You have a priceless inheritance that can never be destroyed. My child, when they whipped Me, you were healed. When I dragged the cross up the hill to Calvary, I carried the weight of your cancer on My back. When they nailed Me to the cross, I defeated your cancer and carried it with Me to the grave. I died to save the world, but I would have done it just for you. Lord, thank you that my faith alone makes me righteous in Your sight! My life is no longer mortal and temporal, but eternal and forever. The enemy and his cancer cannot touch my soul or take away my life in you. You conquered him at Calvary and took away the sting of death. You died so I could live. Thank you that I am safe forever in your hands. “This gospel unveils a continual revelation of God’s righteousness—a perfect ...

My will! My will for you my daughter is a healthy body. A healthy body is a reflection of My goodness and My abundant love for you. I grieve over your brokenness, and I want you to be completely whole. Sickness and death were never part of My original plan. I created and called My creation good. When sin and sickness entered the world, My beautiful creation fell into decay. But I came to restore everything the enemy stole from you! I came to destroy the works of the devil and heal your diseases by the stripes on My back.

I cried today, don’t know why but I think it is related to me receiving another appointment letter from the hospital for a nuclear medicine body scan. I don’t know what that is and I don’t know why I’ve been asked to do this. This morning I feel so overwhelmed so Lord, please help me. At this point I have had a mammogram and biopsy two times, so I am sick and tired of test. I just want things to start moving as I am determined to face this and be brave. You said I am healed and I believe that. I am already healed and I am just waiting for the physical manifestation of my healing 3 John 1:2 - Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your souls prosper I believe I am the righteousness of God and any situation that opposes God’s will for me has no choice but to obey and be obedient to God’s will for me. Cancer opposes God’s will for me so you Cancer you have no choice but to the obedient to God’s will for me which is I was made whole by the blood of Jes...